Advent for Pastors, Leaders, and Parents
I’ll never forget my first Christmas Eve service as an Interim Lead Pastor. I made my way up to speak after a handful of carols and readings when my wife slipped back into the cry room with our fussy daughter. As I began my “Christmas Eve” message, I became painfully aware that my four-year-old son sat alone in the empty front pew with a yellow notepad that he methodically and slowly ripped into long strips that he’d drop into a pile on the floor. It felt like an acoustic test in one of those large amphitheaters. Already nervous as it was, my face flushed as I tried to ignore the snickers and chuckles.
By the time he finished shredding the entire notepad, I thought, “finally, there’s no more paper! He’s done! I can focus now.”
With no more paper to rip, he then looked up at me and yelled, “Hey dad?!”
Stunned, I stopped mid-sentence, “what is it, buddy?”
In my head, I began to panic. For some reason, he had been on this weird fire and brimstone kick lately and my ability to predict what would come out of his four-year-old mouth left a wide spectrum of possibilities. I stepped off the stage and leaned over to him to try and quickly and discretely talk with him - but it only served to place my mic right in front of him for everyone to hear him crystal clear…
“I just wanted everybody to know…” boomed through my microphone on the sound system…
I prayed frantically… “Please, Lord Jesus! Anything but the lake of fire bit… I’m begging you!”
“Jesus loves you.”
The room filled with a resounding “Awe” and “that’s so sweet!”
I on the other hand was sweating profusely and trying to roll with it all. How that service ended, I don’t even really remember. I doubt a single word I said was remembered, but what was remembered was what my four-year-old shared: Jesus loves them.
We really put a lot of energy into preparing for Christmas, don’t we? It’s incredible just how stressful it can sometimes be.
Fast forward about eight years, and this year marks the first time I get to just attend a Christmas Eve service with my family in over 15 years.
As a pastor, it was a given that Christmas and Easter were an “all hands on deck” event. And so as I transitioned off of staff at a church to launch my spiritual direction practice this last summer, I’ve noticed a few things that I’ve kind of just always “known” in the back of my head that I’m now experiencing.
As ministry workers, it is so easy to get wrapped up in the production of Christmas and Easter that we never stop long enough to receive it for ourselves. The pressure to produce can be intense… decorate, craft the perfect Christmas Eve service replete with treats, hot cocoa, everyone’s favorite carols and a message. But make sure the message is witty, not too long, personal, funny, engaging for visitors, and shares our hope of Christ. Got it. No pressure. Oh, and then prepare Sunday’s message, too.
But this experience isn’t limited to ministry. I think of just how many mothers and fathers dutifully cook, clean, shop, and wrap only to collapse on December 26th with a messy house, an empty fridge, and kids asking what’s for dinner. Like Sundays, dinner just keeps coming around and it can be tiring (pancakes… we’re having pancakes for dinner).
But I don’t want to convey the wrong message here as it’s often an absolute joy to give ourselves to this work. We do it for the people we love. But I would guess that once or twice you’ve found yourself wishing to be on the receiving end. When years turn into decades of this rhythm, you can feel a bit worn out. Subtly feelings of “let’s just get it over with” can begin to creep in. Some far-off part of us longs for the chance to get to experience it for ourselves… to really enter in.
If that’s you this year, the invitation for us this advent season is to pause, if even just for a moment, and to remember that advent is for you. Jesus’ incarnation and moving into the neighborhood is for you. Yes, you, the pastor/parent/leader that’s responsible for __________ (fill in the blank).
Advent, like Lent and Easter, are intended to be yearly rhythms that capture our hearts and remind us of powerful truths, but if we are pouring all of our time and energy into serving, the opportunity to “enter in” feels like a privilege we don’t have time for.
This is about the point that you’d insert a story about Mary and Martha and being “worried about many things” and choosing the better. But there’s no shame here. The point is simply to say, you work hard to craft something beautiful. God uses you profoundly to help others encounter Him during this advent season. And hopefully, instead of just being a conduit that passively passes something on, you might be more of a chef that samples the work as it’s being prepared, getting to savor and enjoy the flavors as the meal comes together. And of course, to remember we have a seat at the table as well.
That’s it. Just a subtle shift… may I receive what’s given to me before rushing to pass it along to someone else.
It’s a simple word.
If you’ve found that you’ve functioned as a conduit for so long that you struggle to experience the love and closeness of God for yourself, can I make a suggestion?
Consider spending an hour once a month with a Spiritual Director.
A Spiritual Director is someone that holds space FOR YOU. Their whole goal is to listen for the voice of the Holy Spirit at work in your life and help you respond to God’s invitation to move from being a passive conduit to a “recipient”.
Shepherds, pastors, overseers, leaders, and parents… you are so good at focusing on others. Spiritual Direction is a gift where a soul friend can focus on you and help draw your attention to the way God is moving in your life, not just others.
As you serve tomorrow, may the Spirit anoint you powerfully for the work before you. You are called, but most importantly, you are loved. May you receive the love of Christ today for yourself!
Thank you for the ways you serve the bride of Christ this Christmas season.
