Drowning
To acknowledge that we somehow are in need is uncomfortable for many because it reveals a gaping hole in the facade of self sufficiency that we like present. To admit that there are things that you and I are unable to provide ourselves leaves us feeling vulnerable.
Therapist Dr. Larry Crabb shares with us a helpful illustration around this whole concept using an iceberg. He starts by describing that the top of an iceberg that’s above water is referred to as The Managed Life.
The Managed Life
The Managed Life is where you or I are focussed on “what do I have to do to look and feel good.” This is the space where we are living in the pocket, we feel a degree of control over our lives and like things are going “up and to the right” - but then this fragile illusion is shattered when something happens that we can’t control. Maybe it’s a health crisis, or something happens with our spouse or our kids. When something happens that is beyond our control that derails our goals or plans in life, our heads go under water where we feel like we are drowning. This is called the Wounded life.
The Wounded Life
The Wounded Life is all about, “what do I have to control in order to fix this so that I’m back to looking and feeling good again?” We exert control, and to varying degrees of success we go round and round through this cycle of The Managed and The Wounded Life. But every so often we encounter a crisis of limitations where no matter how hard we try, we can’t seem to get our heads above water. This is what happens during a midlife crisis, or when going through a major burnout. We grab on to anything that we think could serve as a life preserver to give us some sense of buoyancy.
The invitation offered us through the Holy Spirit isn’t to go back to The Managed Life, but rather to take the journey inward and downward to The Formed Life.
The Formed Life
The Formed Life is where we no longer ask the question, “how do I get back to being in control - looking and feeling good” but rather, “What is God doing through this and in me?” The focus is on allowing the Holy Spirit to do His work through the pain and getting curious around how the Lord is inviting us to be formed.
For many of us, we’ve been treading water for such a long time that we are exhausted, looking for a way out. The “way out” is by releasing the control you never had and trusting The Lord.
Questions for Reflection:
As you consider this season of your life, how does this concept of the iceberg resonate with you?
How have you noticed your need to control show up in your life?
Are there places that The Holy Spirit might be inviting you to release control right now? If so, what might that look like?
How might God be inviting you to grow and be transformed through the pain of your current circumstances?
